Can My Child Decide Their Own Parenting Time Schedule?
One of the most frequent questions family law attorneys receive is whether a child can choose which parent to live with. In Colorado, the answer is a blend of judicial discretion and a firm legal cutoff at age 18.
The “Best Interests” Standard (C.R.S. § 14-10-124)
When a court determines a parenting schedule, it does not simply follow a child’s wishes. Instead, it weighs several factors under the Best Interests of the Child statute. One of these factors is the child’s preference, but it is subject to two major conditions:
- Maturity: The child must be “sufficiently mature” to express a reasoned and independent opinion.
- Independence: The court must be convinced the child is making the decision freely, without pressure or “coaching” from either parent.
There is no specific age (e.g., 12 or 14) where a child’s voice suddenly becomes the deciding factor. Judges have considered the opinions of children across a wide age range, depending entirely on the individual child’s development.
The Age of Absolute Choice: In re Marriage of Tibbetts
While the court has discretion for younger minors, a 2018 Colorado Appellate case established a clear “upper bound” for parental and court authority.
In In re Marriage of Tibbetts, the court ruled that:
- Once a child turns 18, they are legally an adult for the purposes of visitation.
- Neither a parent nor a court can force an 18-year-old to comply with a parenting time order.
- At 18, the child has the absolute right to decide where they spend their time, regardless of what the previous custody agreement stated.
Summary of Child Input by Age
| Age Group | Level of Influence | Legal Authority |
|---|---|---|
| Young Children | Minimal to None | The Court decides based on physical and emotional needs. |
| Mature Minors | Influential | The Court considers their wishes if they are reasoned and independent. |
| Age 18+ | Conclusive | The “child” makes the decision; parenting orders are no longer enforceable. |
The Bottom Line
Until a child turns 18, they are technically required to follow court-ordered parenting time. However, as children grow older and more mature, their voices carry significantly more weight in the eyes of the court. If a teenager is adamantly resisting a schedule, it is often a sign that the parenting plan needs to be legally modified to reflect their developmental stage.